My goodness, October was a hard month at work.  With focal point reviews, and schedule making and rolling out agile development and about 500 other medium priority things going on, I have been hoping just to make it through the month as things must surely get better.  This week didn’t prove out that theory and for no apparent reason, by today I felt as stressed as I have felt in a long while.  I think a lot of it is self-created as I am definitely my own worse critic.

I was supposed to go over to Twin Falls tomorrow to interview candidates for the Rotary Group Study Exchange to Brazil but it was absolutely killing me that I was going to miss an entire day with Belén and her first swimming lesson, so I am defying my typical nature and flaking out.  At this moment in my life, I have time for the bare necessities (eating, hygiene, etc.), work and family, sometimes exerice and that is about it.  I finally came to the realization that even with my few commitments, there were too many of them, so I am trying to shed them and get down to level that I am happy with that will minimize guilt.

I know it must just be a working mom thing but I feel like I am never satisfied with the use of my time.  If I am working, I wish I was with the baby.  If I leave work at a reasonable hour to spend more time with the baby, I fear I am being looked down on for not working enough and feel bad about that.  I recognize I need to get over the guilt but I also realize it is a process that will not come overnight.

Enough of the working mom sob story.

When Andy sent me an office communicator asking me what I wanted to do tonight, I said I wanted to stay in since I feel like we have not had enough time at home this week.  That is what we decided to do.  Rather than cook, we decided to indulge in greasy take out from Hawkins Pac Out.  Andy picked up burgers, fries, gems and Coke…something we do not eat very often.

While he was picking up the grub, I tried on Belén’s swimsuit that we got for her first “swimming lesson” tomorrow.

Belén's new swimsuit

Don’t you love the rolls on her legs??  It turns out that the sewn in diaper really works as well.

Belén has not been too keen on solid foods, so it was exciting tonight when she actually seemed to get into eating these new banana-flavored Happy Baby organic puffs.  She worked hard to feed them to herself even though that often ended with her getting pissed because her hand wouldn’t open up to eject the soggy puff.  Between Andy feeding them to her and the few she was able to successfully feed to herself, she ate quite a few of the things and left plenty more for the dog to clean up off of the floor.

There was so much excitement to be had with the yummy puffs that she tuckered out at the early side of her bedtime window, as she was eating.  Here is a video of it.  Andy and I were cracking up.

Now she is in bed and we are about to order a pay-per-view move, the X-Men, Origins, Wolverine.  Let me tell you, the fun never stops around here!

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