Not To Do List

I was trying to get caught up on my work email 9:13pm on a Sunday night when I came across notes from a panel discussion with women on work-life-balance. Ironic huh?

It was interesting though. A lot of the typical things you hear in discussions about work-life-balance but there was one nugget of information I am still digesting but has a lot of value.

One of the tools for creating resiliency and balance is to create a ‘Not To Do’ List.

Basically, think of all of the “shoulds” in your life. I should do this… I should do that… These are goals that exist for a long period of time where the thought of accomplishing them likely does not give you a feeling of satisfaction, yet not doing these leads to a feeling of guilt.

The recommendation is to stop burdening ourselves with guilt and decide which “shoulds” to remove from our minds. Create a “Not To Do” list.

This really resonates with me for a couple of reasons. For one, I tend to take on too much and think I should be good at everything. Then I feel guilty when either a) I am not good at something I would like to be good at or b) I am not spending enough time with those I love because of the pursuit of those things…a no win situation!

The other reason it really resonates with me is because when I was pregnant and had Belén, I was able to free myself of all of the “shoulds”, okay not all, but most of them and it was a really wonderful feeling. You have a free pass for the pregnancy and I would say the first six months with the baby where people understand if you are not able to commit to things. I never thought I would want to use the free pass, but I often did and loved it.

And so I will pose the question to you. What would you consider adding to your “Not To Do List” and how wonderful does it make you feel to think of it never being on your mind, making you feel guilty again?

I have a few items I am considering, but I do have to admit it is hard to let go of all of those things I think I should be doing.