An uninteresting sequence of events helped me to realize something today.

It started when my black and white checkered capris I decided to wear were a little tighter than I remembered them being.  Granted, for some unknown reason, I have two pairs of black and white checkered capris, (no light pair of jeans nice enough to wear to the office but two pairs of black and white checkered capris) so maybe I am recalling the way the other pair fits.  But the pair I wore today was a little bit too much muffin top-inducing and butt hugging for my taste.  Of course I didn’t realize this until I was already at work when changing my clothes was not longer an option.  The resulting self consciousness about the pants would normally be enough to focus on but then my t-shirt felt sung for some reason too and my belly seemed a little bit too pronounced when I looked down.  What gives?

Then this evening after we had eaten dinner, pulled weeds, put Belén down to bed and finished our other chores, I went to my dark chocolate cabinet for a row of squares off of my beloved Perugina Dark Chocolate with Almonds bar.

I discovered this chocolate by accident upon sampling almost every dark chocolate option at our local food Co-op.  Even though the Co-op is a relatively small grocery store, their chocolate section is about a third of an aisle wide.  Perugina dark chocolate can only be described as from the heavens and we had a love at first taste relationship.  It has honestly caused me rethink my beliefs regarding a unique soul mate for each person.

I speak extra longingly about my beloved dark chocolate (with almonds) because, you guessed it, we are out!  The out-of-chocolate situation especially as I remember buying something like seven bars last time I as at the store seems to correlate well with the aforementioned situation with the black and white checkered capris.

Which leads me the final in the sequence of events where I sit here wondering which outcome is more important to me: eating what I love or finally getting rid of my post-pregnancy belly.

If you ask me when I am walking down the street and my pants are riding and stomach pooching proudly, I would quickly exclaim the latter.  If you ask me right now it would be the former.  I think this is why losing weight is so hard….you are only motivated to do so when you are not being presented with fantastic dining options.

On top of it all, we are thinking about trying for Kiddo #2 pretty soon, so is it really worth it to try and lose weight?  I guess it would be ideal if at least I didn’t gain any…

I know the answer to my woes is exercise and eating in moderation…which I already do both of…in moderation.  I seem unwilling to do what is necessary to take it to the next level.  I just don’t think I want it bad enough…which surprises me.  I thought I would be militant about losing all baby weight and looking as close to my former self as possible.

I guess this is just another one of many surprises in store with having kids.  I really really hope that once we are all finished with babies, I am much more motivated than I am now to work towards having a body I feel comfortable with and proud of.

Somebody may need to go to Italy and bankrupt the Perugina chocolate factory though.

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