Am I the only one who was not quite ready for 2012 to start? In my desire for proper closure, I had hoped to have everything neat and tidy coming into the new year and well, it just didn’t happen. I have lots of good excuses as to why 2011 thrust me into a new year, unprepared, why I needed it to linger on a bit longer, but none of that matters now. We are a little over a week into 2012. The champagne bottles are long since recycled and my resolutions have been logged. I still haven’t finished up those lingering items from last year…the vacation blog posts from October, the organized spice rack, the book I hoped to conclude so I could start reading from my new nook, etc. None of them are a big deal, but I crave the closure.
If I were willing to relive last week’s craziness, I would be tempted to declare a “do over” on the whole New Years thing so I could do it right, be prepared. Instead, I am giving myself a break to not be on top of it all, to still be pondering what I want to accomplish in 2012.
As I read through others’ resolutions and ponder my own mental state of mind in this wonderfully hectic life I have created, I cannot quiet this voice in the back of my head telling me that setting goals for myself is not what I need right now. I have a accomplished a lot in my life and there is much more I intend to do, but at this point, the to do list only seems to get in my way of focusing on what really needs to be accomplished.
Just as I was exploring these thoughts in the back of my mind, I reacquainted myself with Leo Babauta’s fabulous Zen Habits blog and found this post about “How to Have the Best Year of Your Life Without Setting a Single Goal.” Instead of goals, guest writer Jeff Goins coaches us to get up early, over commit, talk to strangers and practice generosity. He did this in 2011 and accomplished far more than did in previous years with long resolutions lists.
I don’t know about you but this sounds a lot more fun than a to do list (especially if you remove the getting up early piece.)
His approach quashes a portion of the voice in my head telling me I need to do something differently but there is another piece that needs to be addressed. The I shoulds…
I should throw a kid’s birthday party that is cool enough to be featured on Oh De Doh.
I should be pitching more story ideas to magazines.
I should be selling enough jewelry to promote to Star Stylist.
I should be ahead of the game at work and have my Inbox cleared every night.
I should be taking my girls on more excursions.
I should be learning to sew.
I should work more.
I should work less.
I should be finding more time to read.
I should be running more frequently.
I should make some of the presents I give this year.
I should grow my blog readership.
I should spend an hour of focused time a day with Andy.
I should save more money.
I should clean my house every day.
I should get through my google reader more often.
I should get my photos organized.
I should remove myself from mailing lists to cut down on my email.
I should figure out what I would need to do to write a book.
I should make Eloise’s baby food instead of buying it.
I should ensure both Belén and I eat all four food groups at every meal.
I think you get the picture. It’s enough to make any person crazy.
I saw this quote via twitter and pinterest on Saturday which addresses the final piece of the thoughts that were eating at me:
I slowly but surely came to the realization that I am ruled by I shoulds with a bit of Keeping Up with the Jones’s (or mommy bloggers) on top of a foundation of goals and yet my true nature is a driven, wanderer. My heart feels warm when I think of Jeff Goin’s suggestion to get up early, over commit, talk to strangers and practice generosity and then dims when I look at my list of I shoulds and to dos.
I have been on this earth long enough to know what needs to get done on a daily basis. I don’t need structured goals to keep me motivated.
All of this is to say that while I still hope to do the things I outlined in my simple list of 2012 Resolutions, my real intention for this year is to rid myself of goals, to dos and any guilt associated with I shoulds.
The I shoulds cannot go away completely because they are the winds adjusting the sail to the direction I want to ultimately go. I simply want to avoid having them dictate my perception of if I am doing a good job or not. I no longer want to feel guilt because I have not pursued an I should whether it’s going to church or going for a run, packing a healthy lunch or pitching a magazine article on packing a healthy lunch.
More than likely, we are all doing the best we can and if we are not, we already know it. Rather that craft lofty goals and to do lists to address the areas where we are falling short, I challenge you, myself, all of us to stop what we are doing and address the problem by adjusting our priorities until they are back in check. For my money, I bet listening to that inner voice and taking action with the information it is telling us will take us a lot further towards being the people we want to be in 2012 than a list of resolutions.